the struggle with speaking truth in love...

Today, our Sunday evening small group started a bible study about communicating within in marriage. Ephesians 4:11-16 was part of our discussion it reads:


And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for equipping the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ--from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what ever joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

Speaking the truth in love. I believe that the truth that is being spoken of here is the the truth of Christ and giving yourself to Him to do his works after recognizing that He gave his perfect life to us to cover our sins so that we may have life everlasting. Having the acceptance and understanding that we have been bought with a great price but in return will have life abundantly not easy but abundantly in Him and direct communication with God our father.

This is not meant only for couples within a marriage but for all believers. This has got to be one of the most misused verses. Sadly, there are times when we as believers get ourselves ahead of God and spout out or do things to others in the name of "speaking the truth in love". We do this truly believing that what we are saying to someone is what God would want us to speak without giving it another thought. Have you ever told some or heard someone else tell someone that a certain bad thing such as the death of a child, a child stricken with a horrible disease or financial failure was because of the sin in their life. Whatever, the justification for speaking this "truth in love" a very important part in the verses that may have gotten forgotten in the process is the growth in all things into Him or the growth of the body (God's children) for the edifying of itself in love. You see each child of God is a part of the whole body and the gifts he speaks of at the beginning of the above verses are to be used for edifying and growing the body as a whole. You also need to remember that many times through the Bible when it says truth it is actually referring to Christ himself.


Today as I grieve over a friend that has been hurt by the "speaking of truth in love" without "edification" and now can not find it in her to believe in the God that I so love and believe in because someone beat her up at her time of lose instead of loving her with God's love and then allowing God to move her through that love. I also grieve as a mother is sick, hurt, broken and in need of her children that live in the very same town as her. They are not there because of a hurt that has gone unforgiven that is related to the feeling they have spoken "the truth in love" and her past actions give them a right to turn their backs on her she laid in her bed lonely and bleeding.


For both of these wounded souls God has seen fit to place Godly examples in their path in hopes they will feel the peace, mercy, forgiveness and over all healing that only He can provide. That through the presence of Godly friends the one that wants nothing to do with God sees Him daily and has stirring in her heart. I pray for a soft heart as I want her to know the God that I love and fear. The woman in need of her children so close by yet so far separated by hate and unforgiveness God gives to her a young kind hearted woman whose heart breaks at the site of that woman's heart ache. She takes care of her because of her love and respect for this precious heart broken woman and her love for God but in the same moment is angered that the woman's children did not come to her side leaving behind the hate and unforgiveness. She prays that they will come to a place of forgiveness before it is to late.


So, how will I use this day and these verses God has revealed to me in a new light? I pray that I will remember that as God places people in my life that I speak the truth remember that the truth is Christ nor my view of who they are or the mistakes they have made. That I ask God if it is His will for me to speak truth to someone that it is lovingly and edifying but not sugar coated. Also, that what I say be words of edification not condemnation or judgement causing them to see me as viewing myself more righteous then them. I know that I can not heal them, only God can but what I pray is that I may never hurt someone to the point they look away from the real Truth; Christ. God's unbelievable sacrifice in love.


But to those of you who have not as of yet accepted the God of my faith and love I beg you to remember that all Christians are a work in progress to be perfect only in Him once we are with Him in Heaven eternal. For those of you who have failed to understand the verses to mean the truth as Christ not showing others their wrong doings pray and then go to that person and ask for forgiveness. It will take a lot of strength but God will bless you; I have no doubt about it.

It is 4 AM and my stomach is all out of sorts.

I wake up at 4 AM today my stomach all tied up. I lay their and think...God why do you want me awake right now. Before I know it life floods into my head; you need to get this done and that done for work or you will disappoint them or even fail at reaching the goals set out for you. What bills do you need to pay is the money there and then another birthday party to be had on Saturday. WAIT! don't forget the baby shower you can't forget that you want to see everyone you have missed dearly. STOP!!!! Time for me to pray it seems Satan is stealing my sleep and making my crazy with axiety. Lord, please give me the wisdom and strength to do the things you have planned for me and to do all I do to gloify you not all the other people in the world around me. Starting to drift of to sleep... YOU ARE NEVER going to get ahead, you can't succeed in your job; what were you thinking taking that job. You are in over your head ruuuunnnn!!! STOP! There he goes again Satan throwing daggers. Lord, give me peace please give me peace I know you are there I know you are in control I know you will not let me fall as long as I hold on to you. Deep breathe...sleep comes BEEP BEEP man it is time to get up.

Why do I think that it is Satan talking in my head you may ask so I will tell you. Because anytime I have started down the path of discovery like the one I wrote about in my last post Satan will pop his ugly head in there and try to sabotage me where I am the weakest. Do you recall where I am weak? No, then I will tell you my self esteem. Someone could tell me each day that I am smart, that I am doing a great job and my kids are awesome but while I sleep Satan likes to play on my self esteem and works hard at pushing me down. He is sneaky and in the past has even placed someone in my path to actually build me up so that later that relationship could tear me down. He is a tricky fella, watch out. The Bible warns us that as we do God's will that we will be persecuted.

Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil men and imposters will grow worse and worse, decieving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned and been assured of knowing from whom you have you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ. 2Timothy 3:12-15

I reflected on these verses for the remainder of the day and a peace poured over me. Then God as I have seen Him do many times in my past poured blessings upon my family. He remains to be my comfort and my provider. SO, TAKE THAT satan YOU CAN'T TOUCH this girl cause God's got my back.

Why is it that I am almost forty and now..

I have finally figured out what it is God would have me do with my life. Are you ready? If you know me well you might think well no duh but for me it wasn't so visiable. Here it goes...I desire to talk for a living. That's right get paid to talk. Seems logical I am very good at it, so why did it take so long for me to find it? Here is my thoughts on it; my stupid self esteem. For those of you who have known me from my late 20's on may not know this but I am shy. No, really I am. I know it is hard to believe but that is because I pray regularly for God to give me the strength to push onward to what I love; you know talking. There was a time that the thought of going somewhere anywhere alone for the first time would cause me to want to throw up. So, how is God moving me through that rock in your stomach, cold sweat, light headed gonna puke place. He kept moving me; moving me everywhere all the time. Off the top of my head I would say no less then 60 times in my 39years + 365 days -22 days. Hint: my birthday is Feb 16th. I will be fabulously 40. Now back to my discovery. My family, they have always known I was a talker. They gave me names like jabber jaws and played 45 records (for those younguns that is what we used to listen to music on ) with songs like "You talk to much". So, here I am on the road to discovery and next I am wondering how the heck do I land that job that allows me to get paid to talk. Now, I am not talking about being a teacher kind of talking but more like you pay to see me speak at the Amway Arena talking. Well, for now I am back in school working on my degree in Psychology, seems logical to know all about the people I want to listen to me talk. I have all sorts of books flying around in my head but heck if one of them can find the exit to get out on the paper (or computer) so I can then tour the world and talk about that book. That is right the world, if I am going to dream of talking it is going to be everywhere and anywhere God leads me. You see I am all about following where He leads me because I tried it on my own and I just seemed to be wandering these past 40 years -22days. And shoot I stepped in a lot of poo along the way. Hey, didn't Moses do that wandering thing and look what he accomplished when He let God lead. Watch out world God has me and is going to do His mighty works through me. Stick around, keep checking in you never know what He will have me say from here. And don't forget Feb 16th is when I become fabulous don't miss it.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8