I wake up at 4 AM today my stomach all tied up. I lay their and think...God why do you want me awake right now. Before I know it life floods into my head; you need to get this done and that done for work or you will disappoint them or even fail at reaching the goals set out for you. What bills do you need to pay is the money there and then another birthday party to be had on Saturday. WAIT! don't forget the baby shower you can't forget that you want to see everyone you have missed dearly. STOP!!!! Time for me to pray it seems Satan is stealing my sleep and making my crazy with axiety. Lord, please give me the wisdom and strength to do the things you have planned for me and to do all I do to gloify you not all the other people in the world around me. Starting to drift of to sleep... YOU ARE NEVER going to get ahead, you can't succeed in your job; what were you thinking taking that job. You are in over your head ruuuunnnn!!! STOP! There he goes again Satan throwing daggers. Lord, give me peace please give me peace I know you are there I know you are in control I know you will not let me fall as long as I hold on to you. Deep breathe...sleep comes BEEP BEEP man it is time to get up.
Why do I think that it is Satan talking in my head you may ask so I will tell you. Because anytime I have started down the path of discovery like the one I wrote about in my last post Satan will pop his ugly head in there and try to sabotage me where I am the weakest. Do you recall where I am weak? No, then I will tell you my self esteem. Someone could tell me each day that I am smart, that I am doing a great job and my kids are awesome but while I sleep Satan likes to play on my self esteem and works hard at pushing me down. He is sneaky and in the past has even placed someone in my path to actually build me up so that later that relationship could tear me down. He is a tricky fella, watch out. The Bible warns us that as we do God's will that we will be persecuted.
Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil men and imposters will grow worse and worse, decieving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned and been assured of knowing from whom you have you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ. 2Timothy 3:12-15
I reflected on these verses for the remainder of the day and a peace poured over me. Then God as I have seen Him do many times in my past poured blessings upon my family. He remains to be my comfort and my provider. SO, TAKE THAT satan YOU CAN'T TOUCH this girl cause God's got my back.
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