one day at a time.

I work for the American Cancer Society. Some of you know this and some may not have known until now. My job title is community representative. My job description is to create a relationship with a community, share the services ACS has to offer, educate on how to do all you can to prevent cancer for yourself through good choices, to honor and support survivors and to encourage the community to dig in and help us fight this horrible thing called cancer. A large part of how ACS is able to fund so much life saving research and all the other services they have to offer is through events such as Relay For Life. I am part of those events taking place. I find people with a passion to see this fight end with a cure. I train and lead them to create an amazing overnight event that will celebrate and honor survivors, bring closure to those who have lost loved ones to cancer, and raise money to fight back through education and research. So, there are days where I am unsure if I will be able to do enough to reach the goals that need to be met to put an end to it all. When we are in trainings as a staff we are reminded we need to instill a sense of urgency without causing panic and axiety. I am not always good at doing that with myself so I worry my volunteers will read my face. Then today as I was talking with a committee that is amazing but starting to get that panic and axiety look it came to me. We are at the place in our journey to our event that is a mirror to the place where a cancer patient finds themself after that first treatment or even every treatment; the place where they doubt themselves. I can't keep going, I am to tired, this is too hard, it would be easier to throw in the towel then push forward, I don't know enough and I don't think I have it in me. Well, wham it hit me. Yes, we really need to get to 30 teams not just to hit goal but to help more people through research. I said to them we need to all get up every day with the determination that we will do our very best today to make a difference. We fight for each day just like a cancer patient is fighting every day. We can only win one day at a time if we are pushing to win today then we will win in the end. You see tomorrow never comes it is always today. We can't change the past and we can't see the future so today we need to do all we can and the whole thing will come together as a cure for cancer. SO, today I am determined to move into the mind set of I will do all I can no matter how hard the battle is and with God's strength and the support of voluteers I will stand in the face of cancer and say YOU WILL NOT TAKE US DOWN! Join me where ever you are there is an event find it at http://www.relayforlife.org/ If you want to join me at one of my events you will find me at www.relayforlife.org/winterparkfl www.realyforlife.org/westorangefl www.relayforlife.org/baldwinparkfl www.relayforlife.org/goldenrodfl
Come support me and help me celebrate more survivors and more birthdays!!!!

Do I really have it bad?

Are things really unfair in my life? As I woke this morning a friends name popped into my thoughts, I learned a long time ago to call or start praying when that happens. Because I knew she was in the middle of a very hard spot I prayed. You see I am aware of when not talking is the very best thing to do. I did send a text to let her know my prayers were soring towards heaven for her but I know this is all I can do for her today. So, how does this relate to me or even you? As I showered, I began to think about how small group would be today. It will not be the same and I imagine will be led by someone else. That led to the thoughts of how I am going through life trying to figure out how to move radically for God. What things are standing in my way? First, thing I thought of was my selfish heart; a heart that can dwell easily on the things in life that are difficult, unfair or just seem wrong. Life's journey is not an easy one and Satan would have it to be even more difficult. He relishes the times when that is where our minds want to stay and build our existance. So, now I got thinking about my friend again. She and those she love had to make one of the hardest choices in life. Let go of control, let God have it all, let Him choose the time even if that time is now. As a child our parents are everything to us. Our mom however is the giver of our life. Yes, I know God is the ultimate giver of life but our mothers whether they were involved in our raising or not chose in their free will to give us life in this world. I can't imagine a bigger gift. So, how is it that we can be in a place like my friend where we have to make the chioce. The choice of letting the machines keep her alive or leave it in the hands of God. God gives us the wisdom to save so many more lives than were possible generations ago but when do we say enough is enough. When is the "right" time to say, "Mom I love you it is okay to let go" and not try to save the one person here in this world that gave you life. This friend stuggles here yet through the pain I know my God the same God she loves will carry her through this journey. What I thought from here was do I really have it bad? Are things really unfair in my life? Do we really see that someone else may be going through a much more difficult journey? I am not simply talking about the children or people for that matter around the world that are starving. I am talking about the person next to you in traffic, standing in line with you at the grocery store or even sitting next to you every day in school or work. Our problem, my problem is not that things are bad or unfair our problem is that we are looking inward and not outward. When we look so much of the time inwardly we miss God. He is waiting for us to look beyond ourselves and what is difficult in our own circumstances so that He can bless us by allowing us to see some one elses pain. When we focus on God and not circumstances we have a greater perspective of what is important. As you walk your journey and you are stumbling in your circumstances look out and ask God who you can bless. You will be amazed how your journey will feel a little lighter. I am not saying that we can't have times of great sadness such as that in which my dear friend is in. I am saying in that sadness or rough spot seek God. He is waiting to bless you on the other side. Part of that blessing will be your joy when you are given the opportunity to bless someone else. Another thing that gets in my way is trusting through faith in God. Trusting myself in knowing which step to take next for God and no one else. As a wife and mother you become very much about your children and husband. Some would say you lose who you are as your own person. That is a ridiculous statement that Satan has used to cause me to run off the path to righteousness more then once. Being blessed to be a wife and a mother helps to define who I am in this world. It is not a punishment that has to be lived out and then you can be yourself again. It is a way for you to live unselfishly and bring blessings to others daily. The difficulty for me at this point is trying to decern are the things I am discerning of God or of self. Because Jesus did tell us to give up everything and follow Him knowing that there will be things that seem odd for us to give up, like our family. Didn't He bless me with them and now He wants me to give it up. Hold on don't get nervous, I don't think God is asking me to give up my life. I do however, feel moved to walk in a way that may not make the most sense. There are desires of my heart and they are pulling so hard sometimes it is difficult to concentrate on my day to day life. The part I am trying to figure out is how do I get from what my daily life is like to the place I feel God calling me to move. As a visual person the picture I see is a country road so beautiful with the best of everything all around it. As we are moving along excited and enjoying the drive and the anticipation of getting to the beautiful cabin by a stream where we will enjoy great things together there is a slight problem. The covered bridge is out and there is no visible path to get there. In a nonbelivers life this would be similar to the seperation from God by sin. The cross gives a way to reach God. Living in a now society for me it is hard to wait on God to build the bridge for me to get to the place that is pulling me so very hard. I believe the things in my life are the boards that will build that bridge and as I move through it eyes focused on God and what He has for me when God is ready all the boards will be there and I will cross. But I want to run to Home Depot and help Him out a little. I want to get there faster and now would be good. However, I do know that I need to wait on His timing and I will be blessed more then I could ever have imangined. Remeber today and for that matter going forward, you will have to make choices to take the faster easier path with less then God has planned or you can wait on Him and get you socks blessed clean of your feet. My friend as she has been on this journey has taken it one day at a time and waited on the Lord to give the time. With that time came heart ache but God's peace will be present and she will see blessings. Not necessarily now but it is just one more board on her journey that will help to build her covered bridge that will bring her to that perfect place that God has just for her. I am continuing forward building board by board with God beside me and am so axious to get to that cabin in the woods. This life is not a sprint but a marathon.

funny how life works out!

As a child you go about life pretty much selfishly at first. Cry to get fed. Cry for a new diaper. Cry to be held. You become a toddler and you try to keep it easy for everyone by doing the same but NOOOO they want you to wait and learn to "use your words". Then you become school age and you try to again to do what you were told "use your words" but now they want you to talk less, listen more and follow directions, so you can do it yourself. Along comes those pre-adult years; the teen years and now you want to do things yourself, be talked to less and not be controlled by directions. Next thing you know you are out in the world on your own and wow it is all about you again. What pleases you, makes you feel happy and building your life however you want no directions required. Now this is the life! Wham! You wake up one day and you have a spouse and children. When did that happen and where in the world are the directions? Okay, you think I can do this, deep breath, what did my parents say about how to talk things through, how to plan ahead, how to avoid debt and most of what was it they said about going to college? What was I thinking? Oh, yeah I have plenty of time to go to college, to save money and pay off those credit cards for now I will have fun.

So, the years have past and life just seemed to happen no plan, not really just took it one event at a time. I have always been amazed at the people that planned so far ahead that they even planned what month the would like to get pregnant so a child was born in a certain month. Or even making sure they had 3 years between every child. How about those people that even planned far enough ahead that they decided to have the first letter of every child's name start with the same letter. Geeze Louise, I rarely thought about what I would be having for dinner much less crazy things like calculating the exact year each kids should be born. Well, this year as I celebrate the life that God has given me I am thankful He has a plan all worked out. Oh and by the way when I have fluttered from one step in life to the next He would always bring me back to His path you know the one that He planned. Anyway, this year as I started a new thing, planning ahead as God prompted me through prayer, I looked at what celebrations we would see this year. I realized not planning made it possible for us to celebrate Alex turning 16, Beth and Brittany turning 13, I will turn fabulously 40, Stephanie and Alex will graduate high school, Stephanie will turn 18 and Willie and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage. That my friends is just the celebration of those that live within our four walls. I forgot the most exciting, aside from being married 20 years, Willie and I get the privilege of going to Romania to share God's Truths. With all that I can say that in all my years before leaving home none of this was ever planned out or even a fleeting thought in my head and without God blowing me gently at times, sternly shoving at others and most defiantly stopping me dead in my tracks at least once to put me back on the path He planned for my life I would not be as amazingly happy as I am today.
You see, although, I could have planned better and avoided a lot of hard, painful, scary and sad times in my life I would not be who I am today broken and on my knees before my God the Lord of my life saying take me where ever it is you have planned. I am ready and I am yours do with me what you will. I am ready to be a school aged child again and talk less, listen more and follow your direction. Thank you for the life you have planned for me while I was too busy flying by the seat of my pants.