Do I really have it bad?

Are things really unfair in my life? As I woke this morning a friends name popped into my thoughts, I learned a long time ago to call or start praying when that happens. Because I knew she was in the middle of a very hard spot I prayed. You see I am aware of when not talking is the very best thing to do. I did send a text to let her know my prayers were soring towards heaven for her but I know this is all I can do for her today. So, how does this relate to me or even you? As I showered, I began to think about how small group would be today. It will not be the same and I imagine will be led by someone else. That led to the thoughts of how I am going through life trying to figure out how to move radically for God. What things are standing in my way? First, thing I thought of was my selfish heart; a heart that can dwell easily on the things in life that are difficult, unfair or just seem wrong. Life's journey is not an easy one and Satan would have it to be even more difficult. He relishes the times when that is where our minds want to stay and build our existance. So, now I got thinking about my friend again. She and those she love had to make one of the hardest choices in life. Let go of control, let God have it all, let Him choose the time even if that time is now. As a child our parents are everything to us. Our mom however is the giver of our life. Yes, I know God is the ultimate giver of life but our mothers whether they were involved in our raising or not chose in their free will to give us life in this world. I can't imagine a bigger gift. So, how is it that we can be in a place like my friend where we have to make the chioce. The choice of letting the machines keep her alive or leave it in the hands of God. God gives us the wisdom to save so many more lives than were possible generations ago but when do we say enough is enough. When is the "right" time to say, "Mom I love you it is okay to let go" and not try to save the one person here in this world that gave you life. This friend stuggles here yet through the pain I know my God the same God she loves will carry her through this journey. What I thought from here was do I really have it bad? Are things really unfair in my life? Do we really see that someone else may be going through a much more difficult journey? I am not simply talking about the children or people for that matter around the world that are starving. I am talking about the person next to you in traffic, standing in line with you at the grocery store or even sitting next to you every day in school or work. Our problem, my problem is not that things are bad or unfair our problem is that we are looking inward and not outward. When we look so much of the time inwardly we miss God. He is waiting for us to look beyond ourselves and what is difficult in our own circumstances so that He can bless us by allowing us to see some one elses pain. When we focus on God and not circumstances we have a greater perspective of what is important. As you walk your journey and you are stumbling in your circumstances look out and ask God who you can bless. You will be amazed how your journey will feel a little lighter. I am not saying that we can't have times of great sadness such as that in which my dear friend is in. I am saying in that sadness or rough spot seek God. He is waiting to bless you on the other side. Part of that blessing will be your joy when you are given the opportunity to bless someone else. Another thing that gets in my way is trusting through faith in God. Trusting myself in knowing which step to take next for God and no one else. As a wife and mother you become very much about your children and husband. Some would say you lose who you are as your own person. That is a ridiculous statement that Satan has used to cause me to run off the path to righteousness more then once. Being blessed to be a wife and a mother helps to define who I am in this world. It is not a punishment that has to be lived out and then you can be yourself again. It is a way for you to live unselfishly and bring blessings to others daily. The difficulty for me at this point is trying to decern are the things I am discerning of God or of self. Because Jesus did tell us to give up everything and follow Him knowing that there will be things that seem odd for us to give up, like our family. Didn't He bless me with them and now He wants me to give it up. Hold on don't get nervous, I don't think God is asking me to give up my life. I do however, feel moved to walk in a way that may not make the most sense. There are desires of my heart and they are pulling so hard sometimes it is difficult to concentrate on my day to day life. The part I am trying to figure out is how do I get from what my daily life is like to the place I feel God calling me to move. As a visual person the picture I see is a country road so beautiful with the best of everything all around it. As we are moving along excited and enjoying the drive and the anticipation of getting to the beautiful cabin by a stream where we will enjoy great things together there is a slight problem. The covered bridge is out and there is no visible path to get there. In a nonbelivers life this would be similar to the seperation from God by sin. The cross gives a way to reach God. Living in a now society for me it is hard to wait on God to build the bridge for me to get to the place that is pulling me so very hard. I believe the things in my life are the boards that will build that bridge and as I move through it eyes focused on God and what He has for me when God is ready all the boards will be there and I will cross. But I want to run to Home Depot and help Him out a little. I want to get there faster and now would be good. However, I do know that I need to wait on His timing and I will be blessed more then I could ever have imangined. Remeber today and for that matter going forward, you will have to make choices to take the faster easier path with less then God has planned or you can wait on Him and get you socks blessed clean of your feet. My friend as she has been on this journey has taken it one day at a time and waited on the Lord to give the time. With that time came heart ache but God's peace will be present and she will see blessings. Not necessarily now but it is just one more board on her journey that will help to build her covered bridge that will bring her to that perfect place that God has just for her. I am continuing forward building board by board with God beside me and am so axious to get to that cabin in the woods. This life is not a sprint but a marathon.